To carry on with my collection of Ms. M quotes I have expanded to include quotes from her show, "Bette". And when I asked for help from my friend Alecia, she was only glad to share the things that float around in her brain..*grinning* Ms. Quote Queen.. *LOL*
ANYWAY, starting with the pilot and expanding from there, here's some of the most memorable quotes ....
I know that some of them are in dialogue format, but they are such memorable scenes/moments, it be a shame to leeave em out just because they weren't snappy one liners.
As this page concerns all her ongoing sitcom on CBS, the list is going to keep growing
Keep checking back
And if you have any favorite lines from an episode PLEASE email me... especially for the episodes I've yet to get quotes for... please let me know which episode it is in your email along with the quote. THANK YOU
-CC
{Episode 1: The Pilot}
{Episode 2: "And The Winner Is..."}
{Episode 3: "Halloween"}
{Episode 4: "Silent But Deadly"}
{Episode 5: "Two Days At A Time" }
{Episode 6: "Color of Roses"}
{Episode 7: "In My Life" }
{Episode 8: "I Love This Game"}
{Episode 9: "...Or Not To Be"}
{Episode 10: "Diva Interupted"}
{Episode 11: "True Story"}
{Episode 12: "Of Men and Meatballs"}
{Episode 13: "Big Business" }
{Episode 14: "Invisible Mom"}
{Episode 15: "Polterguest"}
{Episode 16: "Brand New Roy"}
Episode 1: The Pilot
"Look at me! My pants are too tight! My heels are too high!! My ears are clogged!! I can't hear you...your lips are moving....what? WHAT??"
"Listen, do me a favor and go find my purse, would ya? I think I still have a fatburger in there!!"
"I look like the last twenty minutes of 'For the Boys'!!"
"Alright baby, what's it gonna be tonight...lady, or the tramp!?!"
"OOOOOOH, wifely duties! Mine is a wide and heavy load!!"
"Oh, Connie...dear, sweet Connie...get your head outta my tucus and hand me the phone!!"
"Please? Oh PLEASE! Please, it's an emergency! A Cher-sized emergency!!"
"Criminey! You could serve a sader on those things!!"
"She has an irrational fear of anything medical...her mother was jilted by a podiatrist!"
"Doctor, I just wanna look good, not whistle!!"
"Careful Doc, these girls are half my act!!"
"HI!! 'Sup, Miss girlwoman!!"
"Hey girlfriend!! Can I get a what-what??!!"
"So I did a little break dance in front of your friends! What's the big!!!"
"...tryin' to out run my ass!!!"
"Look! All the glamour of a leather bar without the two drink minimum!!"
"Think back...last night...all tramped up and nowhere to go!!!"
"You have a mistress??!! It's Sally Field, isn't it?!!! Get me outta this thing!! I've been lookin' for an excuse to kill her for twenty years!!! I'M COMIN' FOR YA, GIDGET!!!!!"
Episode 2: "And The Winner Is..."
"....when did he get a game show??! Well, this is never gonna catch on!!!"
"There you see that? I thanked you without even thinking about it! See, that's how I am! There's nothing more important to me than...B!!! Octopussy!!"
"Yikes! Connie call the cops!! Mel Gibson just broke into my kitchen!!"
Connie, I'm tellin' you, you should see this guy naked!!"
"If you don't eat it, the sphinx will!!!"
"Well, that was my biggest hit. I got nothin' left!!"
"Holy Moly!! It's a tinsel-town crap-fest in here!!!"
"I don't know, I was standing in line at the post office the other day and I said, I said to myself..'I think I'm gonna call Connie Mookie! Don't you think that's fun??!....ME TOO!!!"
"The AFI! Smell me!! CLASSY!!!"
"I'm just gonna go put my knockers in the freezer for a second...Roy LOVES that!!!"
"Oooh, isn't that the Osmonds? Honey, remind me to get their autograph for Rose...teens LOVE them!!!"
"THANKS ROY!!!!!"
"Connie...Connie! Who the hell is JAG?!"
Episode #3: "Halloween"
"Look at the face! There's doctors in Beverly Hills that don't do such good work!!"
"No I'm sorry Rose isn't home right now, may I take a message? Bobby from science class. And you wanna take her to a concert on Saturday night? Oh, that's fine Bobby. Be sure to buy four tickets because her father and I will be coming with you!!"
"I gotta get my stories straight!!"
"Shhh! I just wanna see if I can get him to do it!"
"I figured we'd go out at sundown...before all the good candy gets took!!"
"Oh honey, that's no lady; that's Dolly Parton!!"
"Ya know, I don't know what you see in her--she's so short and busty!!"
"You know, it's that kind of lackadaisical parenting that leads to...heavy petting!!"
"I heard that! Little vaseline on my teeth, pinch my cheeks, and I'm good to go!!"
"Oh is it time to go already? I wouldn't know, I don't HAVE a watch!!"
"Dolly! I have been flapping this tail for thirty years! I KNOW what I'm doing!!"
"Easy Connie! I think some of it melted onto my ass!!"
"Hooligans!! Lousy J.D.'s!! OOOOH! They look home!"
"I get it. You didn't wanna go out; I MADE you go out. I needed you to be a kid just one more
Halloween! OK, so I'm done! You can grow up now."
"Oooh...OOOH LAPD!! Run!!!"
"I knew she stole those watches!!"
Episode #4: Silent but Deadly
"Look! The Hawaiian Hula Retirement Home houses over forty women who have given their hips to Island entertainment!! And I am their only voice!!!"
"Well excuse me for trying to become a complete human being!!"
I have no ego! And if you don't believe me, ask my millions of adoring fans!!"
"How 'bout I give ya TWO words?!!!!"
"Oh, excuse me Professor Roy!! I'll tell you what I'll give you a PhD in...Kissing my Ass!! OK!!!"
"They're not happy! Maybe some puppets or something! Oscar! Give me your socks!!"
Episode #5: Two Days At A Time
"You owe me six bucks-where's your fanny pack?"
"Six dollars... I'm going to Nieman's and YOU just paid for the valet!!"
"Oh, oh 'old on, just a second, I zink I 'ere 'er now...Oh Miz Betty, oh zare you are...oh you look zo beautiful today! Telephone..."
"Really, PLEASE! I'm working on at LEAST ten projects here myself!!"
"But Con, how come I don't have my own magazine?"
"Kiss Connie... She's just standing there!!"
"September 31st! Geez, haven't you been taking that ginko I got ya??"
"Thirty days hath November, April, June, and November...well that doesn't make any sense!"
"I don't have time to haggle over MINUTIA!!!"
"It's right here in the magazine, page 174...the art of MULTI-TASKING! I'll shoe-horn a little here, I'll piggy-back a little bit there, I'll just 'OPRAHFY' my day!!!"
"...and I have to rescue some cats...I had to go to the bathroom at the ASPCA...don't ask!"
"Sharpen your pencil! We're goin' to the DARK side!!!"
"Warren, Annette! You look FABULOUS girl, even after all those kids!"
"Oh look, it's my daughter...here, at Spago!!"
"See, I did it! I did it all...and in heels!!"
"Go ahead, admit it...I'm the honky Oprah!!"
"You know, I'm going to do this multi-tasking thing every day-that way, by the time I'm dead I'll be half as old as I really am!!"
"What do you mean you don't agree...it's OPRAH!"
"Oh, excuse me Oprah...did I tell you how much I liked your pancakes?...Geez, what kind of guest am I! They were fabulous!...and VERY binding!!"
"Seven years! You really gotta budget your time better!!"
Episode #6: Color of Roses
"Is it cold in here, or is it just me?"
"It's you" -Oscar
"Yeah, well I got a couple of CAST IRON Hooters that beg to differ!"
"YO YO YO!! The DIVINE is in the house!!"
"That phony British accent certainly has taken you a long way, hasn't it?!"
"Stop, Stop, STOP! Turn the beat around, Oscar I smell a hit!!"
"Well produce some Kehonays and ask them to AM-SCRAY!!"
"Someone's been double-dipping from the estrogen bucket!!"
"If I were a ship, you could break this over my hull!!"
"Exactly, Exactly! That's what I'm saying! You know, I hear I'm VERY big in the gay community!!"
"Oscar that is so dope! So deeply, deeply DOPE!! Isn't it?"
"I think I just converted! Oh Oscar, are you losing faith? Cuz they can baptize you, I paid 'em for a full hour!!"
Episode #7: In This Life
"It's one of those Norma Camali wrap-around deals!"
"Well, he seemed nice!!"
"Well of course she didn't sing...she didn't die...I died SINGING!!"
"Bianca Jagger brought this stupid monkey in a cowboy hat and he keeps throwing drinks at me!!"
"Is that part of the song? Gee, it takes a real left turn there, don't it?!"
"I have one of those...Nicholas, He's Lutheran, but thinking of converting!!"
"Listen, things could be worse! You could be stuck here in the can at Studio 54, trying to re-wrap yourself into a seven hundred-dollar burrito!!!"
"Liza Minelli's just gonna ask me to go eat eggs with her...she'll hog all the jelly, and 'Mama' this, and 'Mama' that and..."
"Excuse me, did you see Jinxed?! No one else did!!"
"Burt Bachrach told me you're fantastic! He's a much smaller man than his head would have you to believe!!"
"I'm too famous to be in this much PAIN!!!!"
"Focus, focus...I can't feel my legs, I got a breeze blowin' up Broadway, and I feel like I'm about to pass a MAYTAG!!!"
"Listen, if you had helped me find my shoes nine months ago, we coulda KEPT that reservation at the Ivy and I wouldn't be in this situation now!! Don't you EVER do this to me again!!!!"
"Hold it, Doc... what's your rush?! You got a date? Look, Connie here's single...so's Oscar...settle a BET!!!"
"Well I got a human head in my vagina!! So, CHECKMATE!!!!!!"
Episode #8: In This Life
"Well, kiss my Grammy!!"
"Connie's using them to spy on the neighbors! It's her version of the Internet!!"
"Do you need a time-out?!!"
"Well, as long as your on there, hop on my website and chat up my new album!!"
"But I told him I did, and we both know that my line between reality and fantasy is a little FUZZY!!!"
"Oscar, Oscar you have absolutely NO street cred! You gotta be down!!"
"Gee, the man is almost seven feet tall! What does he need to be protected from?! Geese???"
"Anyway, we just stopped by because I need floor seats for tomorrow's game, and 'O-dog' here thought 'Special K' might do me a solid!!"
"Well that's just crazy sexy cool!!!"
"Honey, you know me...this ain't even CLOSE to a fuss!!!"
Episode #9: ...Or Not To Be
"Roy I haven't heard you this excited since Little Kim called you 'Mac Daddy' at Circuit City!!'
"I mean I have unplumbed layers! Honestly, you ride around in a wheel chair and a fish tail for a coupl'a decades, and nobody takes you seriously!!"
"Oh yes, he's fully furnished! Well what brings you to our side of the pond?"
"Oh that's right, last night the Harlettes and I were sitting around reading the tragedies...out loud!!"
"Yes, if I have one vice, it's culture!!"
Yes Connie, I still say it's a good idea! Well it is...well it is...well tough ta-ta's I'm already here!!"
"I stopped to pick up some danish...get it??"
"Well, she's not that bright... we had lunch once--I had to figure out the tip! I mean how hard is it to calculate ten percent?!"
"Wow, I wonder what it was like back then...I should call your mother!!"
"Well this is just a big Elizabethan smut fest! All it needs is a pizza delivery boy and a lonely housewife!!"
"Honey I forget...when the microwave popcorn says three to five minutes, do we do it closer to three or five? I'll just do four...keep going!"
"Alright, who'd the genius who put the empty popcorn box back in the pantry?! Keep going..."
"Are you kidding? Why does everyone take me so seriously?! I'm having the time of my life!!"
"Hey! 'What if I-what if I get one of those rainbow wigs for ya? So people will think your one of those John 3:16 people?!"
"Damn my dainty structure!!"
"Sally Field please...Oh HI Sally! I didn't expect to find you home! Not working, huh? Well I'm opening in Hamlet tomorrow night! Yes, that Hamlet! I am so!! Tell her...SEE??! Well anyway, I'm leaving you a ticket at the box office...Oh great! Marvelous! OK, see you then! She said she wouldn't miss it for the world!! Hey, I like your codpiece!! Who knew??"
"Don't worry my voice mail will get it...I'm screening! Carry on!!"
"You're right! The guy invites himself to tea, practically BEGS me to do his play, then acts like he's the Prince of Denmark or something!! You know what, he wanted me, he's gonna get me!!"
"Hello Oscar? Call the girls! We're doin' Shakespeare!!"
Otto Hamlet
Sung By: 'Bette' as Gertrude [ Hamlet, Shakespeare ]
Performed By: 'Bette' & The Harlettes
This is the story of Hamlet
William Shakespeare's most notable play. . .
A magnificent work of art
But, for you kids, I guess I oughtta tell it this way!
Hamlet was the Prince of a spot called Denmark
Oooh, Yeah, Yeah...
There never was such a frantic guy either before or since
He was a dream boy
and like a whole in the head Denmark needed this Prince
He bumped off his uncle and Mickey-finned his mother
and he drove his girl to suicide and stabbed her big brother
Cuz he didn'twant nobody else but himself should live . . .
He was what you might call uncooperative !
See what I mean?
Hamlet had a lady friend named Ophelia
Ophelia . . .
She was a cool, put-together chick that made men thrill
But Hamlet, he thought, she was from Uglyville!
So he chopped down her father just to teach the girl a lesson
Yes he cut him up in slices like a pound of delicatessen
Cuz murder was one thing Hamlet sure did enjoy
Sure did enjoy. . .
He was - How Shall I Say? - quite the mischievous boy!
So it was
DOG-EAT-DOG-EAT-DOG in Denmark
It was
DOG-EAT-DOG-EAT-DOG in Denmark
In Denmark. . .
YEAH . . . YEAH. . . YEAH . . .
And the moral of the story is very plain...
You better get a muzzle if got a great dane
And the name of this omelet is HAMLET
On With The Show...!
Episode #10: Diva Interupted
"Who do you have to FAX in this town to get on a list?!!"
"Well, who's' more rif-raf than me??!"
"C'mon Oscar, let's see if I can body slam ya!!"
"So people whose diapers I've changed are hotter than me??!"
"No, see, everybody thinks I'm insane, but the twist is, I'm actually dehydrated! I'm telling you, Nadine is a genius!!"
"Honey you're so sexy when you get Biblical!!"
"Well at least they get to be forgotten! I mean, I mean, I'm not even on the list! That means they've already forgotten to forget me!!"
"The emotionally unstable don't wear bras! If I were sane do you think I'd let these chi-chi's be swingin' a capella?!?!"
"Oh no, Oscar really I'm swell! I' just concocted this little psychotic episode so I could reclaim my rightful position in the Hollywood pantheon!!"
"No lie! If I had known I was being comped I would'a had my eyes done!!"
"Now go on! Get outta here ya lousy J.D.'s!!!"
"Wait! Wait! Wait! Hold on a dang minute, I'm gonna be late for my comeback!! Ah GEEEZ!!!"
"I was happily driving home when I hit a speed bump and wet myself! So I put on my peignoir and went in to plug myself in! Then between guttersnipes defiling my image and this Napoleon at the mini-mart trying to gouge me for something I could'a licked off my blouse for free, I didn't know which end was up!! Then when my car drove off without me and I had to walk the streets, the cops tried to arrest me for pinching a bottle!! But as you can see, I'm back-I'm back and I'm better than ever!! Good to see ya!!"
Episode #11: True Story
"You know what , I told that in strictest confidence to Nathan Lane...it turns out his mouth has a wider circulation than Newsweek!!"
"Scale?! Alright, take the flowers, the fruit, and I'm coming back for that lamp! I'm telling you, I really want that lamp!!"
"Oh Patty, thank you! Aren't you pretty! You come right up here and tell a story about me!!"
"I should'a just nipped that lie in the bud. Now it's gonna haunt me forever like the time I say Mother Theresa get her habit stuck in the car door!!"
"You know what? I get it! I just have to do one thing to even the karmic scales and then it'll all be over! Be back in 60 minutes!...15 minutes!...I'm gonna run up and down the stairs twice!!"
"Oh thank you Dylan! My aren't you pretty!!"
"Look he even got a tattoo of me on his arm!! And when he flexes, it performs CPR!!"
"You know, for a guy with nine fingers, Tiny has really good penmanship!!"
"Hello Rick it's me...I'm looking for a little boy for a project I'm working on...well, he has to be about eleven, a very poor swimmer, and very good at keeping a secret!!"
"It's not Shelley Long is it? Cuz the Judge said 500 feet!!"
"I only wish Barbara Walters were here to see this! What days does she come in anyway??"
"Hi, I'm Bette. Tonight's episode addresses a serious problem in our society...celebrity lying. And as you saw, it got my character into quite a pickle! Now just because I am an Academy award-winning actress-nominated actress, that does not give me the right to lie to you. As I said when I was Time Magazine's Woman of the Decade-Person of the..year-long time subscriber, if you're gonna lie, don't drink and drive! CBS...it's all here!
Episode #12: Of Men and Meatballs
"Oh what a relief! I thought it was just bad!!"
"Oh my god, who's that?! Somebody hit him with a handsome stick!!"
"No kidding! Gee, this character's a real firecracker! I had no idea!!"
"I know you are, but why waste all this beauty??!"
"Please! You'd have to put in your diaphragm just to make your way to the jukebox!!"
"See, just like I promised! Wall to wall hotties!!"
"Save your toothpicks...Rose likes it when I bring something home!!"
"Oooh, OOOH! An airline pilot!! You've enjoyed a few layovers in your day, haven't you?!!"
"A leg here, an arm there...you have no idea the business this brings in!!"
"Run! I'll fake a seizure!!"
"OK Tessie, get your pocketbook out!!"
Episode #13: Big Business
"They're having sex again next door!!"
"But that's not fair! I was supposed to slap Danny Glover with a fish today!!"
"That's a fabulous idea! I've had that first line in my mind for forever!! 'It was 1974, the era of sex, drugs, and rock an' roll!!...But I didn't go in for that sort of thing! And neither did my best girlfriend, Marie Osmond!!"
"Oh, she stopped speaking to me since I didn't return her Tupperware!!"
"Really?! Women in Business? Well you should interview me! I'm a veritable conglomerate!!"
"I love it! And we could serve food like...uh, uh, uh...Wind Beneath My HOT Wings!!"
"First Wives Club sandwich!! Nah, I don't wanna wear a hair net!!"
"Go to your room for a year!!"
"Yeah but I'm famous! You look like a welder!!"
"Well that's more than I needed to know!! Anyway...uh, uh...I'm so excited and I know you have a million ideas, so just fire away!!"
"I look like the guy who sleeps on my star on Hollywood Boulevard!!"
"Huh! Boy, that's one needy little garment!!"
"I don't want it to talk...I want it to listen!!"
"Close to it?! I'm in it!! And it STINKS!!!"
"Oh honey calm down, calm down, it's not as bad as all that! Maybe I'm just over re-acting to the colors and the bell-bottoms and the zippers on the inside!!"
"Can't I just give you a Valium instead?"
"Has anyone ever told you your kind of a jackass?!"
"And just get a load of this fantastic hand stitching! This is real Guatemalan craftsmanship!!"
"You're right! And not just salami! Who else has some meat they wanna put in my jumpsuit?!!"
"Well, for you Muslim women, it makes a great way to observe your religious beliefs, without giving up your right to fashion!!"
"Let's see... Riches to Rags: The Anatomy of a Failure...oh well, and A's an A!!"
Episode #14: Invisible Mom
"Great! You can hum while you scrub!!"
"And who mixed paper with plastic! It's just anarchy around here!!"
"Hey! If I'm gonna help teach sex ed, I'm not leavin' out any THING or any BODY!!!"
"Well you know what, today it's not The Divine Miss M, today it's just plain old mom! Ooh two hours! That gives me just enough time to get into hair and makeup!!"
"Wow! I know I'm just going to be kicking myself at Oscar time, but my plate's a little full right now!!"
"Alright. Now I guess I should take attendance, but uh, my opinion is, if you're here you're here, if you're not you're not!"
Oh no no no no. What's heinous is when you're on the Tonight Show, and Roberto Benini is jumping all over the couch while you're singing your ballad! THAT'S heinous!!"
"Thailand, OK, Bangkok...And let me tell you how I remember Bangkok...What grade is this?! Uh, let's just move right on!!"
"Gee, it's been ages! You know, 'Grease' is on the dish all the time! I cannot turn on the TV without seeing you in that ferris wheel!! You don't see 'Xanadu' so much!"
"Honey don't start with me again! I told you perms on young girls are hideous!!...unless you have Stacey's swan-like neck!!"
"Giving something away free in the bathroom!...That takes ME back to high school!!"
"By the way, what's up Olivia Newton-John's ass? That girl is giving me attitude like you cannot believe!!"
"Well you know, I was the only Jewish girl in a Samoan neighborhood! You talk about being an alien!!"
"Oh, I'm sorry sweetie, I'm freezing myself for someone else!"
"Oh my god! This is exactly why Eminem's mother is suing!!"
"And if that's not bad enough, on the way in here, I could'a sworn that Olivia Newton-John gave me the finger! What's that about?! I mean I could take her, right? If it came to that??!"
"OK guys! You heard what Mrs. Flynn wants, and at this point in time I don't think it's a good idea to tick her off!!"
"Well, I didn't want you to stay home alone on a Saturday...like Aunt Connie!"
"Because I'm a diva! We're a different breed!! Why don't you call Diana Ross's kids up and see if they're happy?!!"
"I'm like a big ole sack of fertilizer!!"
"I can't believe you remember that! First of all, Sally Struthers talked me into doing that! In those days, she had a lotta influence over me! Secondly, it was the 70's... everybody was doing stuff like that! The point is, you got the part, and you were brilliant!!"
Episode #15: Polterguest
"The 3:30 tour bus! Last week someone took a picture of me picking up the paper in Roy's gym shorts and sold it to the Enquirer!!"
"Connie I'm vain, I'm not stupid!!"
So, so you bought the Hibbert's place, huh! We're gonna miss them. She drank and he never wore pants!!"
"Well Loni Anderson's never home! You-you just pop the latch on that back window, you'll have the place to yourself!!"
"OK! But I ain't chewin' your carrots for ya!!"
Ooh, ooh, ooh! Curb-side parking at Barney's-SWEET!!"
"I know Oscar, but the only time he doesn't talk is when his mouth's full!!"
"Have you seen him eat?! He's like a wood chipper! I thought I was gonna lose a finger!!"
"My house isn't bad-I have a very GOOD house! It was built in 1927 by a very famous closeted homosexual!!"
"There was enough 'chi' for you to sweat up my sheets and make a turkey!!"
"There's no such thing as a portal to evil! And if there were, I'm certain it would be in the Valley!!"
"Well he really spooked me! He says there's a dark cloud hanging over the house and I'm starting to believe him! How else can you explain my last five movies?!!"
"That's it! John Lovitz is right, I should sell this house! There's some sort of a funk over it! You know, I'll bet that's the reason I can't keep a maid for more than two days in a row!!"
"Oh I didn't recognize you without a drink in your hand, and you got your pants on!!"
"Of course I do! I come from Hawaii-We're lousy with Shamans!!"
"No, I was just thinkin' about you in a swimsuit!!"
"Wow! How do some of your other popular characters do in China?? Exactly!! ZING!!!!"
Episode #16: Brand New Roy
"Please! What about Moon Unit Zappa?!! I had to have that engraved on a baby spoon once! And it was a dollar a letter-What a racket!!"
"Whaddaya think? Does it make my ass look big??!"
"Why, do you wanna shell me?!"
"Oh honey, I been workin' nights for a month! This goober has needs! Really, I wanna get my honey roasted!!!"
"Mmmm... I see Kathy Najimy isn't the only on with a big bang in her future!!"
"Ooh, wait for the full moon, count!"
"Yes... you, me and the balmy warmth of a third stage smog alert!!"
"I know the air is full of poison and it's slowly killing the planet, but GOD I look good in that light!!"
"Oh but I love her, I don't wanna lose her she's fantastic! She's so tiny you know she crawls right up in the dryer-we have never lost a sock on her watch!!"
"We gotta start lockin' these doors!!"
"They're like stray cats! You feed 'em once-they never stop coming around!!"
"Roy, call the Chevron station! I drove away with the gas hose again!!"
"Honey, jewelry and champagne are romantic...this is a felony!!"
"The last time I went to Vegas, Cirque du Soleil tried to juggle me!!"
"Oh, that's so special! But listen... you remember that thing in the shower? One time only deal!!"
"On the plus side, I don't need a CAT scan this year!!"
"Oh! The girl at Starbucks thought she looked like Barbara Hershey! I hadda act out scenes from Beaches with her! She wouldn't give me my change until she died!!"
"Oh my GOD! The poor little thing! He looks like a fruit bat in a onesy!!"
"God, it was easier for the Germans to get into Paris!!"
"Well, what could be more romantic than squeezing dog pee out of my blouse in a public restroom?!!"
"Oh look at us! We look like Barbie and Ken if they had aged in real time!!"
"Eew!! Oh, it look like Chester's not gonna see Paris!!"
"Oh Baby Bust doesn't describe it!!!"